Something is Not Right

Ah, I've always looked better in black.

90210 was . . . itself last night, which was to say not at all very good and not even laughably bad, just sort of dull and pointless. Brenda and Kelly still look weird, though when I thought Brenda might be dying I'll admit to a pang (she wasn't), and announced to the cats that they couldn't kill off Brenda, of all people. Somehow that would ruin the canon of the original show. I've been having a lot of the reruns lately on in the background while I work at home, and it's funny how it just doesn't matter what season it is, I know what's happened and what's about to happen within minutes. But the weekday shows are in the 7th or 8th season when the show got really dark and sort of dull and Donna with the mocha colored hair and Kelly spent a lot of time bleating, so it's not as big a contrast between the original and the new as it could be. Anyhow on the new show Annie is still incredibly annoying and should probably switch places with the younger sister on Secret Life of the American Teenager, the only one on that show I actually like.

Annie had INTUITION, which they learned about in school (who needs to learn that in school?), and squinted, as Daniel Drennan, the original BH90210 recapper would have written, real hard, while figuring out ,and then letting her folks in on the fact that, "something is not right" (as Madeline's headmistress, Miss Clavel, would have said) with the mysterious new son her dad never knew he had who took off with $200,000 of Naomi's mom's money, which she can ill afford now that she's getting divorced. Adrianna might have gotten AIDS while she was using, but was given a clean bill of health--do they no longer tell you about the ten year incubation period, and retesting and all that? But she is pregnant--and Brenda can't have children and wants to adopt . . . gee, I wonder what will happen. And the worst part is that Grandma Bluth said she wanted to go back to work, which I fear means we'll have a lot less Jessica Walter, who I know has been domoted and is one of the few things that makes this show tolerable.

I don't love Scrubs, and from all accounts Zach Braff is a big ass, but the critic I read was right and they really did seem to have a new vitality on the two episodes last night on their new network ABC. The caustic new intern "Jo" is fun, and it was very sweet to see JD and Turk usher Glynn Turman's character into death. Even if it meant they missed steak night, which sounded pretty fun. Courteney Cox, however, looks way to skinny, her hair is stringy, and she wasn't very funny. I don't think she's permanent though, as Ken Jenkins is still on the show.

I've also been watching, from Netflix, original SNLs. I still love Gilda Radner, but the shows vary a lot based on the hosts. Candice Bergen--funny. Lily Tomlin--funny. Robert Klein, not so much. They're getting into a groove, but are still trying things like having the hosts interact a bunch with the musical guests which I'm glad they haven't done since. ABBA lipsyncing on the deck of the Titanic was mildly funny. Loudon Wainright lookedawfully young and I've seen the first two "Land Shark" sketches, which hold up well, and the first appearance of Emily Littella. Of course, I don't think it really gets good until they get rid of Chevy Chase, who Jane Curtin once said was "probably out kicking a puppy or something," and bring in coolest man on the planet Bill Murray, but that will take a lot more disks and I have lots of other stuff to see first.

Does Jason Jones wear lifts?

Last night I watched, as planned, Greek and The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, and also the prior day's How I Met Your Mother and Chuck. Obviously, I did not take the night off.

I was really hoping to let TJDMA go for good, because it had gotten so tawdry and awful with the whole model house concept. But a lot of this episode was devoted to Janice's realization that she really didn't like what LA wants from a modeling agency and her plan to move to NY and really open a high fashion agency. That I could get behind, although if things actually went like that, with models who were extremely disciplined about diet, exercise, drinking, drugs, and sex, and were totally devoted to making it, it would be a really boring show. And anyhow, Janice wasn't exactly a frail little wallflower herself in her heydey.

But the reason I originally started watching this, as well as America's Next Top Model, is that I just don't really get it. I'm not at all photogenic myself and am fascinated by the idea that some people know how to move their faces and bodies in just a certain way and it makes the difference between a gorgeous photo, and, well, my photos. I don't think I've learned a whole lot, though, in a lot of viewing. I need something more like What Not to Wear, only for photos. Only every time I watch WNTW, or the practically identical Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, I hate everything I own, not because I don't get the rules or I don't wear nice clothes because I do, but because I don't have a staff of tailors, steamers, ironers, makeup artists, and hairdressers hiding behind my mirror. No matter what I buy, after one wearing, or in my case, living as I do with a white cat and a multicolored one, after letting it hang in the closet for any length of time, I will never look that polished. In any case, I can't imagine real high fashion clients would use the JDMA-NY, after seeing any part of this show (which aside from showing the models as lazy, stupid, and riddled with eating and personality disorders, shows Janice herself as "batshit crazy" as they say--good for a reality show star, not so great for an agent I suspect) and I can't imagine the same viewers would be up for watching, if there is another season--and she made it seem like there would be.

I still love Chuck. Last night mostly took place at a class reunion and was riddled with allusions to a good many teen movies--everything from Risky Business to Heathers to Fast Times at Ridgemont High to 13 Going on 30. Too bad the title "Russkie Business" was already a Veronica Mars episode, as that would have been the perfect title here (the Russian Mafia was involved). Even Nicole Richie wasn't enough to wreck this.

I also enjoyed How I Met Your Mother--but it's so weird, I think of Jason Jones as tall on The Daily Show, and always think of Josh Radnor, who plays Ted on HIMYM as short-ish, only Radnor towered over Jones. Granted Jones was probably barefoot as he was in a Karate outfit, but he must wear some serious lifts in his normal shoes, then, or Radnor must, or it's just because Jon Stewart is so short and Jason Siegel is so tall, or something like that. I don't know . . . the ending was telegraphed slightly to me, or at least I suspected it and since Sarah Chalke is on Scrubs, and Scrubs is coming back, whether she was the mother never seemed to be at issue for me, only how they would spilt up. I'm ready for them to get on with it.

I was happy to learn that I was wrong, and that Greek was only airing its penultimate episode, which I figured as soon as I realized they kept talking about "two more weeks" in the term, and that Casey's latest love interest--who I'm sure came in second for the role of Chuck because Michael Rady looks a lot like Zachary Levi, down to the sideburns--wasn't even on, and nor was Rebecca, who is usually relatively important. The episode was just OK, as I really don't care who the new sorority president is, or who is pulling the strings and I mostly watch for the love stories, which were almost entirely absent this time, but it was still fun to watch.